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Citizens for Limited Taxation

Framingham Town Meeting to Promote Dead People
Article 1 of the 2009 Special Town Meeting on October 27, 2009 would like Town Meeting members (TMM) to vote on a promotion in rank of a Framingham Fire Fighter who died in the line of duty over 40 years ago. Most Framingham residents haven't been alive as long as this guy's been dead.

Note: There is no difference between a dead firefighter and a dead roofer.

ARTICLE 1 Costanza posthumous promotion

To see if the Town will, notwithstanding any general or special law, rule or regulation to the contrary, vote to promote John Costanza, a Framingham fire department lieutenant who died in the line of duty in 1979, to the rank of captain. This promotion is titular and said promotion shall not constitute or confer any additional benefits or rights arising from said promotion.

Pass any vote or take any action relative thereto.

Sponsor: Board of Selectmen

Background Material

The Sixth Sense allows you to see dead people but on October 27, 2009, Town Meeting in Framingham will exercise its Seventh Sense by attempting to promote the dead.

A roll call vote would allow us to see how many TMMs are willing to wade into the murky backwaters in an uncharted corner of the Twilight Zone.

If we set a precedence here, this could become a big money saver. For instance, we could freeze any and all promotions until the employees have been dead for fifty years. Think of the money we could save.

If you are employed by the Town of Framingham, your chances of being promoted are significantly better than in most towns. Most towns restrict promotions only to the times that you are actually alive and working, but Framingham has expanded its promotional opportunites well into your death.

All those who sponsored this article are stone cold fucking nuts. It clearly shows that Town Meeting has nothing better to do with its time.

The exercise of Common Sense would dictate that one should not do this, but as we lose the ability to use our common sense, we have to pass laws to dictate common sense.

The majority of TMMs might call John Costanza hero, but I grow weary of this promotional drivel by the fire unions to call this man a hero. He merely died of an occupational hazard. By this definition, there are millions of heroes. Fire fighting is not a dangerous occupation. Here's the ten most dangerous ones....their commonality is resisting gravity.

He is no more of a hero than the average roofer who dies installing a roof. If you die in an airline crash while flying for your company, are you a hero? How about if you die of a stress related heart attack in your office at work.

Fire fighters relentlessly promote the danger of their jobs so that they make you believe they are entitled to outrageous pay and benefits. Don't believe them.

Calling him a hero is like watching a baby being born and calling it a miracle until you realize that 75,000,000 such miracles occur every year or about 2.3 births per second. Tick, tock, tick, tock...

Under the guise (or fantasy land) of religion, we confer many titles to the dead, such as sainthood, but here we are dealing with the hard reality of Framingham Town Meeting.

You can never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This vote on promoting the dead has reaffirmed this.

I have had a Divine Revelation that instructs Framingham Town Meeting to promote me after my death, using the not so pompous title of Lord of the Realm.

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
         -- Rod Serling

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